Creative accounting. Mismanagement. Vanishing 401Ks. Insider trading. Misplaced power. Neuroses. Bloody clown suits. Meatloaf costumes. Self-administered prison tattoos. You guessed it…Corporate America.
And in 1989, nobody better exemplified those characteristics—and a hundred tawdry others—more than CommGlobalTeleVista, a telecommunications behemoth that’s future relied on a promotion that would provide customers with something they didn’t want or need, and a CEO who hoped buying a meat company—or acting like its takeover is in the works—would move their stock price north of $75 per share and award him a $100 million bonus.
And it all happened because Dick Citizen—an unambitious, twenty-five-year-old with an obsessive hatred for his first name, an uncanny ability to hit a golf ball long and straight, and a bizarre skeleton in his closet—stumbled backwards into the last place he should be—you guessed it…Corporate America.
“Arneson takes great pains to build interesting, colorful characters…that are in serious need of psychological help.” – Tony Swiller, Pacifica
“If you’ve ever worked for a Fortune 500 company—and who hasn’t?—CommGlobalTeleVista will ring incredibly, hysterically true.” – B. Madoff (not that one)
“The characters are so carefully crafted you feel you know each one intimately…or have at one time called the police on them.” – Halston Sharply, The Observant
“It’s what might happen if Hunter S. Thompson took an executive position at AT&T.” – anonymous, trembling Senior Vice President for a global telecommunications corporation
“All in all, pretty fair treatment of a Dick.” – Dick Hussain, president of The National Association of Dicks (NADs)
“I loved his overall treatment of corporate marketing departments.” – Ned Tawny, president, northwest chapter of The North American Salesmanship Club
“I was offended by his overall treatment of corporate marketing departments.” – Sheila Rom, president, American Association of Marketing Professionals (AAMP)
“I find the notion that Noble Tud is based on me utterly offensive and distasteful...and only partly true.” – anonymous former CEO, current federal inmate #456894
“This should be required reading for all MBA students…at least the ones who don’t plan on using their degree.” – Matt Tettleman, Tribeca Times
“Ladies, I dare you to read it! If Citizen Dick represents any kind of insight into the male psyche, we’re doomed.” – Verna Skoles, Women on Women magazine
“I read it, but don’t remember much about it.” – Seth Crutcher, member, Head Trauma Institute
“I was alarmed by the [over]use of the word scab.” – Tommie Barker, IT administrator, National Leprosy Council
Richard Arneson is available for television, radio interviews, and book signing events. Citizen Dick is available at book stores everywhere and at Amazon.com.
To learn more about Citizen Dick or to schedule an interview, please contact the author, Richard Arneson.
Be sure to check out Dick Citizen's “Dick Strips” at citizendickthebook.com.
Copyright © 2009 citizendickthebook.com | All Rights Reserved.
For information regarding obtaining a review copy please contact the author, Richard Arneson.